One term that I heard way too much early on after the separation was “moving on”.
“you just need to move on“
“you’ll move on when you’re ready“
“you need to choose to move on with your life“
Now I’m sure these well meaning people meant to help but at the early stages of becoming separated I wasn’t ready to move on and really wanted to hold on. But as annoying as I found that term, much further down the track I must admit it a very apt term.
Because that’s simply what it is – when you are ready to let go off what was once your marriage, you’ll then hopefully move on to that next step which is identifying the positives of your life and moving your self into that mode of starting a new fantastic life.
Now when you do that is totally up to you. Some do it after 1 month, some 6 months, some 6 years, some well perhaps never. Becoming suddenly (perhaps unexpectedly) recently separated may to some, be on par with the death of a loved one – the death of what they perceived to be their marriage.
Depending how you feel about the separation will greatly effect how long it will take till you’re ready to move on.
Be sure to take your time – allow your self to grieve the loss of your marriage as you need to. But at the same time, try to take the steps to identify the positives as your new life develops.
A very wise man once advised me “that it’s a very ill wind that doesn’t blow some good“
Keep you’re eye’s open for some positive signs – they’ll lead you to a quick road to getting past the pain.
